


Headspace

by unus_annus_eilish



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cute Ethan Nestor, Earthquakes, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Mark Fischbach, Sad Ethan Nestor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23401636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unus_annus_eilish/pseuds/unus_annus_eilish
Summary: Ethan has a panic attack after working for 36 hours straight and having an earthquake.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 18
Kudos: 322





	Headspace

It had been a long time since Ethan had slept. 

He should probably be able to read the time on his computer, but he couldn't. 

He should probably have gone to bed, but he couldn't.

He should probably be done editing this video at this point, but he isn't.

And so he won't sleep.

Lately the comments had been getting to his head. The quality of his content, according to the viewers, was going down. He agreed. The amount of time he could put into the videos he put up on his channel was depleting, between filming and editing for unus annus, trying to be a good boyfriend to Mark, and keeping Spencer happy, his time was limited, and he couldn't feel worse about it.

Mark had told his to come to bed probably an hour ago.(maybe two, who knows at this point) But he couldn't, the video wasn't done to the standards of perfection he felt the need to meet.

In his mind, delirious as it was, if he kept working on the video, it would get better, and the comments would get better.

Not that he cared, right? Big strong men shouldn't be scared of some kids in the comment section, right? Mark wasn't, why should he be?

Ethan's anxiety had gotten much worse recently, probably due to his lack of sleep, personal time, and the almost certain doom of his relationship.

Ethan felt like he was a pretty child, there was no way someone like Mark could stand to be with him for much longer, he's just surprised they made it this far.

They've been dating for a whole 6 months now, something none of Ethan's past relationships have managed to do. Mostly caused by his high tendency to apologize for things he didn't do or assuming that he did something to anger his partner and then withdrawaling from the relationship completely.

Mark knew that, and still asked him out. It baffled Ethan that someone as good looking and we'll put together as Mark would ever put up with him.

Overthinking was not something that was new to Ethan's mind, and he could feel the panic pulsing through his veins.

Up his toes, through his shins, going week at the knees, his thighs tingling as the hysteria reached his guts, curling up in pain as his brain took control of his body. His diaphragm began to hurt, his lungs uncontrollably spasming as his throat swelled shut. His teeth began gnawing into his lips. His cheeks went numb. Tears started well up in his eyes as his brain went numb. Distantly, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and into his office, the door creaking open.

"Ethan? Baby? Are you coming to bed soon?" Mark's voice rang out from the doorframe of the small room, unaware of Ethan's panicky state, just a few feet away from him.

Ethan whimpered from the chair at his desk. The lighting around him swirling as the tears in his eyes started to stream. He let out a small, panicked whimper from the corner, alerting his boyfriend of his uncertain condition.

Mark picked up on the small noise, knowing Ethan had been up for way too long and familiar with the way he acted while having panic attacks. He rushed over to the desk to see his boyfriend curled up and crying.

"Baby you're gonna be okay. You need to go to bed. Do you want be to carry you up or do you want me to hold you here?"

Ethan just whimpered in response, the tears continuing to roll down his cheeks. His erratic breathing continuing, his body tingling as the panic courses through his veins.

Mark pushed the chair away from the desk, bending down and picking Ethan up bridal style. He carried him out of the office, up the stairs to the kitchen.

Mark filled up a cup with water from the fridge and then continued to carry his panicing boyfriend upstairs into his room, gently placing him on the bed. He set the water cup on the nightstand and stepped back.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to hold you or do you want me to stay back?" Ethan's crying became more erratic, he whimpered and shook as the panic kept climbing. He spoke very quietly, just above a whisper, it was all he could muster.

"my phone," he cried, which Mark understood was to play his anxiety playlist.

"Ok, I'll be right back, will you be okay?" 

Ethan whimpered and nodded, whether or not he was telling the truth nobody, not even him, knew.

Mark had been gone for twenty to thirty seconds when the house began to shake. Ethan had lived in California for nearly 4 years at this point, and he had experienced earthquakes, but somehow, he had always been with someone when it happened.

Unfortunately for Ethan this time, as a large earthquake struck southern California, he was midpanic-attack, lying chaotically on his bed while his boyfriend grabbed his phone from his office that he had spent the last 36 hours in. He didn't know what time it was, or when the last time he had eaten was, and frankly, he didn't care. At this point, the terror in his body was elevated to a new level he didn't know he couldn't reach.

"Mark?" He cried out, crying harder than before. Attempting to both find his boyfriend and reach the safety of a doorframe, Ethan lept out of his bed, throwing the blanket across the bed and nearly tripping on his clothes and shoes while standing up.

The floor started to wave, like the ocean. Normally, the ocean was something that calmed him, but when his bedroom floor became said ocean, the thought becomes much less pleasant.

Despite everything, he was quiet. He could hear Mark's footsteps coming up the stairs, which was both relieving and caused him more stress because he didn't want him to fall down the stairs.

The floor was no longer rolling, but the house was still gently shaking. Mark held on to the railing, easing Ethan's increasingly dramatic mind, that was still screaming at him that Mark could fall at any moment.

Mark made it up the stairs and grabbed Ethan in the doorframe. The boys hugged and stood there for a minute until the shaking stopped. Mark picked Ethan up again and carried him over to the bed, placing him and his phone gently on the quilts before grabbing the water off the nightstand and laying down next to him boyfriend.

Mark handed Ethan the cup, which he greatly appreciated. Once the cup was empty, Mark grabbed it again and set it back on the bedside table. He wrapped his arms around Ethan's shoulders and they spooned. 

Ethan's much smaller body pressed gently against Mark's, which allowed Mark to feel as Ethan's breathing returned to normal. His heart rate slowed down as well, which was a relief to Mark.

It became evident that, despite it being only 8 pm, Ethan was exhausted. Mark blamed himself for not making sure Ethan went to bed at a reasonable time, or at all, in this case.

And so they layed there, Mark gently twirling Ethan's hair as he slept. It had been a wild day, from Ethan's panic to the earthquake. Mark began to sing softly into Ethan's neck, some Beatles song he had heard a while ago. Eventually he fell asleep, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes! This is my first Mark and Ethan fanfic and my first fic on Ao3. I finished writing this on a day we had a 6.5 earthquake and I had a full blown panic attack so I thought I'd add it in. Leave some comments and tell me how I did :)


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